What a Life
by midd
Summary: Stupid fic about stupidness in life (and idiot-ness) from Sasuke POV. Not far from SasuNaru. AU
1. Rather not so angsty intro

:: What a Life ::

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you people to stay away from me coz I don't own them so stop bugging me to admit it coz I wont' coz it hurt! TT cries I'm in a very deep emotional moment TT cries more

Pairing: SasuNaru / NaruHina (very, very little but no bashing…maybe)

Warning: Shounen-ai; Grammatical error (no Beta so I might repost this to cover the mistakes once I deal with the other chapter) language, AU

Summary: Just read it.

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Start-o!

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Naruto and I had been partners for years. Started when we had our first group presentation back then in Junior High School. He was the worst and I was the best. And believe it or not, we match each other.

Of course there were times where I couldn't stand him. There were also times when I felt like killing him, buried him alive, skinned him alive. And there were also times when I was glad that I had him as my partner, my friend.

I respect him the most. Because he always tried to do his best in everything. He lives for himself. He stands for himself and only for himself.  In my eyes, he's the best.

And for years we've been together. And for years also, I always almost cross the line. The limit for hanging out, as friends.

And I'm not supposed to have this feeling.

You know what that is? Love.

Infact, I can't love him. Not that I won't, I can't love him!

Oh, do you know what we are now?

When we graduated, I thought, man, this is the end. I have to confess. Now or never.

And then, you know what happened? When the entire atmosphere going out good and warm and makes things romantic, I snapped.

By hell, I fucking snapped it!

I ruined it! By saying: Man, I'm getting myself a girl.

What the-- hell. I'm gay. I'm not supposed to have a girl!

After a few seconds, I thought, the hell you were saying?!

And for the _next_ few seconds, I thought, thank god I said that.

Because what, you know? He said: Me too!

!!

HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GIRL EITHER!

But that time, though I smiled and congratulate him, saying nice things to him, I cried inside.

Okay that's enough for sentimental reminiscence.

Anyway, after I _managed_ to cover up my lie, about me having a girl I didn't really have. I really _get_ myself a girl. A nice decent one I say. I mean, she's okay – but not for real.

So I keep changing one after another. Girls, I mean. Can't remember how many anymore. It's not that I'm a player or something, it's just… no one just seem… you know, _right_ for me.

And sometimes, well, it keeps me thinking why girls, I mean, not all girls are, but, _most_ _of them_ _they_ keep appearing and throwing themselves at me.

So I just picked one up, walked with them for a while and dropped them out and picked one up again. And again, and again, and again for the rest of my entire fucking life if I don't have him.

He also got himself a nice girl. Not very pretty, but nice.

Her name is Hinata. He brought her to our apartment yesterday. She's quiet shy, rather closed and very predictable that she is _completely_ in love with my best friend. He _daddy_ owned the Hyuuga enterprise.

She's a fucking millionaire! And I bet Naruto hadn't learnt that his girl is a walking ATM. He doesn't read newspaper, he doesn't like politics, and he doesn't watch the news.

He said he met her inside the cab. Said he needed to get home soon and she offered him her cab and of course, being Naruto, he told her to go together. And that's how they met and fall in love. What a romantic story.

But it's not for me. If it wasn't for the cab!  If it wasn't for her stupid bird brain to offer some stranger, who's happened to be MY crush for years, her transport. Damn cab! Stupid cab!

I mean, she's the millionaire's daughter. What the hell she was doing walking around in a street without bodyguards in black – like one in TV – and taking a cab. She could get kidnapped for her father's money sake!

…Sorry, I got carried away.

So, after months doing nothing but college, which is sucks, me and him decided on something.

We could form a band!

So we did.

We both play guitars and we both can sing. So we play guitars and sing. And then we did some audition for a keyboard player and a drummer.

The keyboard player, unpredictably, fall to one of my exes hand. Remember when I told you… oh, I haven't? Well, I tend to forget my exes' face coz for me they all look the same and only for a ride. Okay, I was rude, forgive me. But I definitely remember her. We did hitched together, but it was, I think, only a week. Could be less. And I remembered her because, for as long as I'm breathing, there was only one girl who speaks too much and drools too much. I think that's the reason I dumped her so fast.

Not that the others last long anyway.

I don't like her, but she's good on what she's playing. Can't deny that, so she's in.

So anyway, getting out of line again, the drummer falls into another unpredictable person. Naruto's step-brother's boyfriend, Kakashi. He's so good that everyone else who plays drums as well looks like toddles with chopsticks.

So with me singing with Naruto. And I got the face, and the voice. And Naruto's high-picted voice is good as well as his voice – I think he's cute too. Sakura also quiet a show as well. And Kakashi is such a looker! And he plays like a damn God!

Within days, our first song reached the top and hit the score. So was our first album. And our second single. AND our second album.

We're so rich we started to waste the money for something that doesn't make sense. I buy myself a nice, very nice huge house and cars. Naruto waste his for his girl, buying things to her, jewelries, shop her clothes and give her a Mercedes Benz.

Yeah, and he still hadn't know that her father could buy her a city.

So a while I live a happy life. I mean, c'mon, who doesn't happy if they live like me.

But it doesn't last long.

Money and fame cannot entertain me anymore. Cars are just cars, and the house is so empty without parties. I mean, you know, I really can't do the thing I wanna do to 'him' to my cars.. if you get what I mean. (Yea, I clearly know what you mean)

I desire him for more and more each day it rots me alive. But if I hit too hard, he can run and left. So I watch, and wait.

Don't know how long, but I wait. Forever if I have to.

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A/N: good? Nah? Drop me a word or two will ya

Got the idea while watching MTV doin' nothing coz my PS2 is broken and my brother start saying sick emotional things on me.

Done it in June 18 – and I just post it now.. yeah, peace to you guys!


	2. Sayonara Hinata!

What a Lfe

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Zabuza and Haku duet is famous among singers. Their album, TheForbidden, is perfect.

Their first single, Photocopy Paper – yeah, what a title – but incredible.

_I'm not just a photocopy paper_

_Living life with fame_

_Printed all the same_

_Picture in a frame_

_Wanna__ be the blame_

_For all the shame_

_That came_

I really like the reff. Part. So I call them and discuss things with them. (A/N: it's a crap song I made out of blue just-only-for this chap.)

And seeing them together, envy me to the point I never guess before. They're both gay and is a couple. How bad is that? BAD!

One time, when we decided to make a song together – like a feat with my band, of course they all agreed, me and Haku were alone in the hotel room.

Making the song if that what you mean.

Why were we in the hotel room? Well, Naruto couldn't come because Hinata got a fever and is checking on her in the hospital right now. Kakashi is dating with Iruka, Naruto's step-brother, remember? And they can be alone tonight coz the kid is busy with a girl some place else. And Zabuza and Haku is on vacation. Though I could need one so I booked the same hotel with them. And right now, Zabuza is in the bar, getting Haku his punch.

That's when I dropped my mug and it broken to pieces. Haku tried to help me, failed coz he tripped and while I tried to grab him to save him, I fell on him instead. Worse, to a bed. And Haku moaned because he hit his head first. See the point here?! I didn't do anything to him! He fell and hit his head on the bed and moaned – because he fell! But no. I realize this is not the position of two song writers in a hotel room. This looks bad.

That's when Zabuza enters the room. With the scene looking bad and uncompromising, and Haku pinned below me looking in pain: he thinks I attacked his lover. ATTACKED! Where was that come from?!

If it wasn't because Haku regains his sense quickly, my head would be somewhere else. Zabuza did try to chop my head off with the knife he carries anywhere. He looks more like a gangster than a singer. The more you look at him, the more you believe that he _was_ a gangster.

Haku said he was a shop keeper. Yeah, he could scare the customers away with his look. Haku also said that he did a few things for his friend who is a gangster! What difference does it make? I mean….  Okay, this is not about Zabuza who tried to chop my head. This is about me.

Anyway, of course, Zabuza believes Haku on what's truly happened and apologize – half-heartedly. And not letting me coming near his lover for five feet within his eyesight.

Please, the guy could catch a fly flying across the room. Fly is like 1/10000000 of what I am; we really can't work like this.  With further wise decision, after a pleading by Haku, he allows me to get near Haku – with him by his side of course. I can come near him but no touching he said. Ah, whatever.

Those two are so lovey-dovey in all ways. Envy me more than ever. Wish I could do the same with Naruto.

Oh, I can't. Because he's not gay!

But my life is going to change.

One day, Naruto came over to my house. He stayed there that night. I barely control myself to get him in my arms.

So suddenly, in a very sudden moment, he confessed.

Naruto confessed to me that, he's gay.

Oh joy. Life couldn't get better than this.

So of course, at that time, at twelve o'clock at night, it really didn't make sense. I mean, what about Hinata. Has he forgotten that for a year he had settle down for one and the only girl he ever dated?

That was the point. Naruto told me that he's ashamed and scared to admit it. He's scared that I would run if I knew that he's gay.

And he told me to be relax coz he doesn't have any kind of feeling to me.

Uh-oh – not good.

But there's so many questions I want to ask him about him that night. So I asked him what makes him admit, reveal himself that he's gay and told me and confront all things he's been hidden form me for years.

The answer wasn't the most satisfactory one ever.

He said that Kakashi turned him on.

OH! Wh--- WHAT?!? What was that again?

Kakashi did what to him!?!? Did he—did he seduced him???

OH NO! THIS IS NOT GOOD. THIS IS BAD. THIS IS SOOOO BAD,

Oh, wait, he hadn't finished yet…

Oooh, I see.. now things get clearer for a bit. One night he couldn't sleep and was walking downstairs to get some beer. And the beer didn't make him sleepy! (Of course, had some sleeping pill and you're out for a day or two.) He drove down to town and went to a casino. Gambled for a while and lost. Hinata was staying over at his cousin's house so he can't go there. Instead of going home, he went to his step-brother's house.

Who's living with Kakashi, our drummer, if he remembers.

He didn't. He just barged in and coz he has the keys Iruka gave him on the other day, the alarm didn't make any noise. He thought he could talk with Iruka about his real sexuality. Instead of getting Iruka to talk to him, he saw them – Iruka and his lover, Kakashi, who is our drummer if he remembers, is living with him – made love. Okay, so he saw them having sex and _watched _them doing it without their knowing that someone is watching them doing their _sacred_ supposed-not-to-be-watched thingy.

And what he saw brought him the sense he's been hiding all this time. He's gay.

For a few days not being able to forget the scene in his mind, he decided that he would go to me for some advice.

You want my advice, Naruto? Dump your girlfriend and _be_ my boyfriend.

Of course, I didn't tell him directly. I said, 'I think you should tell Hinata and maybe, broke up with her because she has the right to know'.

Fuck that! – The essence of saying that is to dump her.

The next step is, I said to him, ' You shouldn't be afraid of what you are' –yeah, what's this? Shakespeare?  ' You should find someone who's meant to be with you. You should be honest with yourself and certainly, at some future point, you'll find someone.'

And that 'someone' is right in front of your very eyes and don't you forget that to keep those things in mind in the morning and dump your girlfriend as quickly as possible!

Now that he's gay. It's not that bad anymore. Life really couldn't get _any_ better than this!

The next day, he did say all the things he's supposed to say a long, long time ago to his girl.

'Hello Hinata, I've got some news for you. Yesterday, I finally come out to my senses and figure out also admit to myself, with the help from my sexy dark-haired friend, that I'm gay.  Oh look girl don't cry. It's not so bad. You'll handle that. You can do that, I mean, you're a girl. So, the next news is that I'm breaking up with you. Hinata, I'm breaking up with you, there, I've said it. We're officially off. The next news is that I hope you won't have any kind of revenge on me about this simple-rather-complicated thing. Second, I hope you would move on with your life and stop bothering me anymore. Third, I'm hooked with my best friend and we're going to get married tomorrow but it's okay coz you're invited. Okay then, this is our end. Fuck off, Hinata.' ---- But that's just me.

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A/N: I really don't know what I was thinking while making that but it turned out to be quiet good. Haha, so I'm keeping the story line. In the fic it looks like I hate Hinata or something.. well, no. I like her actually.

And that Photocopy Paper song – I made them and don't sue me if it's bad. I just need it for this piece of writing.

Drop me a word will ya!


	3. Eyebrowsless

What a Life 3

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Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: Language (could be)

A/N: Opening Note: I really, really thanks you guys who review me. I really thought that this story is so...rp! So, well, thanks!

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The last episode (what the hell) I said that life is really good it couldn't get any better than this. That finally Naruto is gay and could be in love with me. That Naruto finally threw out his girlfriend (that was rude, whatever).

Well, if I can repeat what I was saying. I would say that life really did turn out better in the way my feelings to Naruto can be expressed. But not the way life is.

The Hyuuga Family sues Naruto for harassing and deceiving the Hyuuga Family.

What the—he dated your daughter. Not THE FAMILY! Where does this whole Naruto dating Hyuuga's daughter came to be a family member business??

And the word harassement – what the--- have no idea where that comes from.

And deceiving the Hyuuga Family. Whoa—waitaminute – 'deceiving' is a very big meaningful word. Naruto did love your daughter but not _in_ love with her… Anymore. He was the same. His denial miss-lead him. Okay, so it would be half-deceiving. But it won't sound right to be said 'Half-deceiving the Hyuuga Family' so they just put the whole word there on a piece of paper that demand ten millions dollars and a record right for a year.

You dirty idiot old man with your stupid little sucker daughter can all go to hell. You and your family member who claimed to be in right of our music record. Where do you think it comes from? From our hard work you stupid idiot man. It ain't falling from the sky and says 'hi. I'm your music record. I'm yours and you're now famous.' The hell.

Okay so we were in the court. I don't know how or why, but I think it's because Hinata still loves Naruto. She pulled back her petition. Ch – more like her father's.

So anyway, Hinata, the sucker's daughter is now our friend… Naruto's actually. But he's happy with it so I'm happy with it too. What a nice boy friend I am.

And Sakura—she gave up on me. Perhaps. Because now she's dating the man with the thickest eyebrows I've ever met. The man's name is Rock Lee. Yeah. Whatever, dude, she's all yours.

And Kakashi, the pervert has a family now. Last week, after the court-dealing thing was done, he proposed Iruka. Of course he agreed and the got married in a hill and had their honeymoon until yesterday. Iruka's thinking of adopting a child now. Hehe, it scares Kakashi like hell.

Me and Naruto haven't done anything considerate as flirting…yet. I tried, but well, his thick skull is thicker that Lee's eyebrows. He's still.. recovering. Wonder what that means but it's okay coz I can wait.

Hinata has a new boyfriend now.. yeah, talk about healing the heart. His new guy is called Shino or something. The guy is obsessed with bugs, man! Disgusting. He even has the whole collection of the whatsoever eight legged.

I thought now that things are getting normal and we don't have any more further problem to solves I can try to tell Naruto what I feels.

But nol Yeah, every drama-soap always have a climax to entertain the audience. If mine's a drama-soap thing, then this is the climax of all problems.

About two hours ago, we went into a bar. Gay bar of course. I was thinking to show him my sensitive side to him about 'us' and 'relationship more than friends' when he was dancing on the dance floor.

I just left him for about half an hour he brought back a guy with him. More like a freak. If Lee has too much eyebrows, this guy has none! He has a red colored tattoo on his forehead in Kanji read 'Ai' means Love.

Maybe I should put a tattoo on Naruto's forehead instead that says 'Belong to someone'.

Because just a minute ago, they're officially lovers.

Now I'm not thinking of showing Naruto my sensitive side. I'm thinking of showing the red haired freak my ruthless insensitive side.

But let's wait until we get home.

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A/N: Yeap! That's it. So goodbye to you guys who read this… (there's actually someone who read this?! Oo lol) I'm off to my school trip for couple of days!

Nice day to you all!


	4. DATE! and WAR!

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What a Life**

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: Language (kinda) OOC-ness

StatuS: not beta-ed. I don't have a beta now.. TT anyone wuld?

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So, you know that Naruto has a boyfriend he's not supposed and I intend not to have, really eaten my nerve. 

First, they just met like what, six minutes and I've been at his side for like what, six years! It's not fair! Life's not fair! I hate my life!

…. Wow, I was whining.

No. an Uchiha never whines. Never.

But it was really upsetting meeee…!!!

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_FLASHBACK_

**The Tomorrow - Whining Uchiha In Denial Session is over.**

The freak's coming today. To Naruto's house! To **MY** house coz we live together. I am not letting it happen! Naruto's mine! MINE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA – evil laugh - … Geezuz, that was just really not me.

Anyway, he's coming for about an hour later. I have questions up to Naruto because we arrived too late last night and I hadn't had the gut to, you know, interrogate him. He might think that being gay was the wrong decision, not that he would anyway. But last night I was drunk.

"Naruto, not that I'm not happy for you," **HELL I REALLY AM NOT HAPPY!** "But are you sure about him?" I asked him

"Well, I guess," he said, "he's nice, and he said he liked me so I thought we might try to know each other first."

"And if it doesn't work out?"

He sat silent for a while, "Yeah, but it's worth giving a try. Don't you think so?"

NO.

"Okay, but if he tried to do something you don't want, or force you, tell me, 'Kay, buddy?"

"Sure."

There it ended.

I am definitely the MOST miserable man alive.

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**10 a.m Gaara's coming**

Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong Ting Tong (A/N: that's what the bell sounds like... so.. well, I know it's not THAT good.)

WTF, is the world ending that you need to be so urgent?

"WHAT?!"

Oh, its' **him.**

The Eyebrows-less.

He asked me if Naruto's here. Of course he's here, but the hell I'm telling him that.

"NO. Wrong address. Try elsewhere." I slammed the door.

Then I realized that Naruto has been standing right behind me. So being the nice guy who had just got his first boyfriend, he barked at me at the way I'm treating his boyfriends and opened the door for him to come inside.

Nope. First plan doesn't work.

After a few minutes of chit-chat and all the greetings stuff you had to do, he came inside and sat on the sofa.

Damn, that's my place.

'You have a beautiful house, Naruto.' Yeah, MY PLACE EXACTLY. What a bullshit. He's trying to get inside Naruto's pants!

'It's Sasuke's actually, I'm staying with him."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

**--**

The rest are just **destruction** to my happy life.

Yeah, so the Freaky-Lover-Boy came. So what?! SO WHAT! Urgh, I'm so at the nerve. I can die from stress… or die desperate. What a very un-cool way to die.

The Brows-less Wonder did try to get inside Naruto's pants! And FINALLY Naruto realized that after the 5th time he tried and failed because of me! HAHAHA, Go Me!

That's what you get when you're trying to trick my soon-to-be M.I.N.E.

**1st** – Naruto sat on the couch. He sat up from MY couch to get beside him. I tripped him. Wow, Lover-Boy got a nosebleed.

**2nd **– They sat together because Naruto wanted to. He started to make the surrounding feels like warmy and flirty inside. I burnt the kitchen on purpose. They ran to the kitchen. Naruto panicked. Good. He didn't see when I hit his lover with the fire extuingsher saying that he was on the way.

**3rd** – Lover Boy starting to realize that I'm aftering the same thing he wanted. Cold War. I 'accidentally' kicked him. What can I say? He was right infront of me while I was practicing my football! It was my banana shoot and he definitely spinned like some banana!

**4th**- Too bad. I ddin't see him when I slammed the bathroom door at his face. Yeah, better luck next time.

**5th **– The most awesome thing I've ever done. I set his ass on fire. As in really **on** fire! This one I did it when Naruto was inside getting THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY.

Unfortunatelly, I done it a bit too close to the pool that he jumped in and soaked himself. And worst, he put the flame off. Ch- too bad. If I knew, I'd set his ass with fire after I drowned him in a tank of gasoline!

You know what, I could've killed him! By setting his ass **on** fire. He could've become ass-less for the rest of his fucking life and I couldn't care less!

He went home afterwards.

Naruto was sad. And it was because Gaara left without saying goodbye to him first or whether when the red haired maniac ran to the pool, he hit Naruto's thinking statue- ya know, the one who's made of steel and it's naked and it's acting like thinking. Yeah, the statue lost its arm and it doesn't look like thinking anymore, it looks more like squatting.

The next day, today, I found my Mercedes sprayed green.

It was like… oh my fucking GOD! Jesuz, OH MY— MY SUPER COOL (EXPENSIVE) MERCEDES BENZ!!

IT'S SO FUCKING GREEN!

It looks like damn grass!

And I never even liked grass. Or worse, GREEN!!

Do you EVEN know what green is like?!

It's **UGLY**!

That Gaara…

So if Gaara wants a war.

Let's have **some** war then.

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tbc.

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A/N: I'm really sorry for the lack of updates and that I'm a WREALLY slow writer. TT

But ya know, the thing is that, I'M **SUPER** LAZYYYYY!

The next chap is ready. It just need some…adjustment. (--;)

And thanks for all the reviewers… you really made my day! And this fic! OW I LOVE YOU GUYS!! kisses MUACH!


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